1. THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CONSCIENCENESS
I wasn’t even aware how or when I’ve lost my self-respect but I believe it was somewhere between being blindly in love and rationalizing his relentless behavior. Although I’ve respected my partner plenty and treated him with such respect, I’ve not received anything even remotely similar. I’ve even blamed it on myself which resulted in losing my self-worth.
It was not until the very last day of my engagement (a.k.a. the day I was supposed to get married!) that I’ve finally admitted how vulgar I’ve been treated. I found myself questioning my own worth. I felt lost and broken for a while but suddenly snapped out of it and reminded myself; NOBODY HAS THE POWER TO DEPRECIATE YOUR OWN VALUE BUT YOURSELF!
2. WHAT ”LOVE” REALLY REQUIRES
Yes, being in love is one of the most amazing feelings a person can ever experience, but it should never stop us to see what’s in front of us. I’m not gonna lie, it was the most fulfilling and empowering experiences of my life and I would do it all over again. However, the important thing here is to acknowledge the balance between two parties so as to avoid conflict and resentment.
Love requires tolerance and understanding but it shouldn’t be about excusing unacceptable attitudes. Of course, it may sometimes require some sort of sacrifice so as to meet in the middle, but it should never be to achieve supremacy over your partner. Love can never survive where there is ego wars between the both sides. Never forget: THE LOVE YOU FEEL FOR THE OTHER PERSON IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WINNING!
3. ABUSE IS NOT JUST PHYSICAL
I remember stories about `domestic abuse` while growing up and I’ve always pictured abuse as a physical offense. I’ve never thought it could also be mental until I’ve experienced it myself. I was constantly being insulted and denigrated which made me feel inadequate and unqualified.
I’ve lost my self-confidence and more importantly, I’ve lost my will to improve myself. The most heartbreaking part to face is that it was me who let it go on this long and I had the courage to stop the abuse all along. It might have been my wedding day when I finally realized this but remember; IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO STEP UP AND STOP MISTREATMENT!
4. BAGGAGES FROM THE PAST RELATIONSHIPS
We all have past relationships since we are not teens who just started dating. Yet it is very sad to carry your past traumas or heartbreaks with you to your next relationship. Just because I was cheated in my previous relationship, I didn’t treat my new boyfriend as if he was cheating on me as well - even though he was for the first 2 years we have been together…
It is really important to open a brand new page with a new relationship and let the past stay in the past. If you’re not capable of doing that, don’t torture anyone and just let them go. If you are the subject of this torture like I was, then I’ll just say this: WALK AWAY RIGHT NOW AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
5. I AM WHO I CHOOSE TO BE
I’ve always been so comfortable adapting and communicating with any group of people. Even so, I was asked to behave in a certain way (meaning I was required to shut up, smile and nod like someone without any opinion) by my boyfriend every time we were on our way to meet his friends, or even mine. No matter how joyous the gatherings would end, I would still be treated in a manner that I couldn’t meet the expectations which would make me feel such guilt as if I was failing him and myself.
To be honest, I am not afraid to admit I am not perfect. On the contrary, I am happy that I am not because it means I still have so many things to learn and so many ways to improve. It makes me feel excited instead of feeling like a failure. So let me tell you this; if you’re happy and satisfied with who you are, DON’T LET ANYONE MESS IT UP!